Benefits

I have determined that parenthood needs some more benefits.  Sure there is the love and joy that having children brings but I am talking more about the benefits that a person would get from a paying job.  You know, health insurance, vacation days, sick days...those types of things.  I love my children dearly and enjoy the time that we get to spend together.  I also like being the one they turn to when they need comforting, either because they got a boo boo or because they aren't feeling well.  However, during this past week I have been fighting off something that has decided it would be a good idea to invade my body.  I really just need some rest and quiet.  But since I have two small children, I do not get rest or quiet.  Sure, I took part of a day off work on Monday and The Mr. was home for part of that time so I got to take a nap.  Once he left for work, it was all over for me.  I was back to working, but this time it was around the house.  Kids constantly need something: a drink, something to eat, a toy that is too high to reach...anything.  Then if you do not give them enough attention, they start destroying things, or at least my children do.  By the end of the day I end up more tired than I started out just because I was chasing children around the house.  So if someone could work on getting benefits for parents as it is a very difficult job and there is no break, that would be fabulous and I would be forever in your debt.

Addition of Duties

For the past several weeks I have known of some changes that would be happening at the agency I work for. For the most part it didn't affect that many people directly. However, it does affect me directly. People would think in these economic times, that would mean layoffs. In this case it does not. The agency I work for has actually been doing pretty well and has been paying close attention to the budget cuts that may happen in the mental health field and planning accordingly. I am lucky to work for such a company.

Anyway, the CEO has decided to do some restructuring which required a few people's jobs to change and some people's direct supervisors changed. But again, for the most part, most people are not directly affected by this change. The change that will be happening occurs on July 1 and has been causing me some stress and nervousness for some time. My job will be changing. I will be directing a department instead of managing a program. I did not apply for this position and neither did any of the other people whose jobs are changing. The position I currently have I started just over a year ago and I am not quite sure if I am ready for a promotion. I will be getting an assistant to help me manage the program I currently manage so I can focus on my new responsibilities. (I will totally need the assistant. I haven't officially started my new job yet but I am already starting to get overwhelmed with the extra duties!)

There are tons of pros when it comes to getting a promotion which are not at all what I have been focusing on. I am concerned about how others are going to view my promotion as from an outsider's perspective it looks as if I went after my current supervisor's job. (I will be supervising all but one of the programs she was supervising. She is not loosing her job. Instead, she will be spending a lot of time focusing on one of the responsibilities she already had.) I know I shouldn't worry about what other people think, but I'm going to do it anyway.

Next thing I'm worried about is the fact that now that The Mr. has a job that requires him to work evenings, I have to leave work by 3:45 so I can get home to watch the kids. I am not sure this will be possible with my new position. It's quite possible that I will have meetings that will last until 5pm. We can't live on my salary alone and we can't afford daycare on the salaries we both make at this time.

Concern #3 is the fact that I will be further removed from the clients that I serve. I really enjoy working directly with the clients and helping them meet their goals. As a manager, I have less direct contact with the clients and, instead, I teach and guide staff in the best way to help the clients meet their goals. As a director, I will be even further removed from the clients that we serve.

And the ultimate thing that I am worried about is failing. Yep, I am concerned that I will totally suck at this position and disappoint all the people who put me in this position as well as disappointing my family.

So, as the entire agency hears on Wednesday of the new structure of the company and how I will be placed in a position above those who have been with the agency for many years, please think of me and hope that I don't pass out. Wish me good luck in my new job as I hope I don't run away screaming from all the added stress and responsibilities.

Excuses, Excuses

I've been absent from blogging. I was very bad at blogging in August with only 2 posts. That's terrible. I can't say it is because nothing occurred in this household and that our lives have been so boring that all of you would have fallen asleep. It's been my own procrastination and preoccupation with other things.

After our vacation to visit family in August, The Mr. was gone for a week on business. This happens on occasion, as you already know. However, this time he left on a Sunday afternoon and returned on a Friday evening. This left me extremely busy and exhausted by the time the week was over. Then, the weekend of his return, I began feeling ill. I went to work on Monday, only to leave at noon. My hope was that I would rest all afternoon and be at 100% by Tuesday morning. I was, unfortunately, mistaken. I felt awful. I attempted to get an appointment with my doctor to be told that they had no appointments that day or the next day. I would have to go to an urgent care clinic. Wednesday morning I made an appointment with the urgent care clinic. The doctor there told me that I had a stomach virus. I am out of work until Monday. I could have gone back today but I figured, why go back on a Friday? So, I had the doctor write the note for Monday.

So there you have it. My excuses for not blogging much in the month of August - or at least not for the past 2 weeks.

My future plans include: attending the Renaissance Faire and taking a Sign Language class. I start class on Thursday and purchased my book today. The class is 100% paid by my employer as we have a Deaf Program where we work and it would be helpful in my position if I could communicate with the staff and clients of that program without the use of an interpreter. (Interpreters are expensive, if you didn't know.) Posts on these events, as well as any cute or odd things my boys do, should follow.

Weekend In Review

Here it goes, my weekend in review:
*My week was very stressful as The Mr. was gone, so when he returned Friday evening I was ecstatic. I was ready to turn over the kids to him and go straight to bed, and I pretty much did just that.

*On Saturday, Thing 2 figured out how to drink from a straw. He is doing very well with it. We have determined that he may be off bottles by the time he turns one after all.

*Also on Saturday, Thing 2 started drinking whole milk, as we were out of formula. He is a couple weeks away from his first birthday so, therefore, a little young to start drinking milk. However, he seemed to enjoy it.

*On Saturday morning, Thing 2 was found standing by himself in the living room without holding on to anything. He didn't stand there very long (less than a minute) before going back to holding on to whatever piece of furniture was closest to him.

*At church this morning, Thing 1 was very well behaved. It was a miracle. Normally we are telling him to sit still, be quiet in church, don't run around, or other things of that nature. Thing 2, however, wanted nothing to do with sitting still.

*Today we actually got some things accomplished around the house before going to church. That never happens. Because of this, we were able to enjoy the day by doing a little shopping. We finally purchase a camera! We also found towels on sale so we purchased some new towels. (The ones we have in our linen closet we actually received as a wedding gift and we have been married for almost 10 years. It was about time to purchase new towels.) I also found a nice purse on sale - 2/3 off it's original price! It was a very successful shopping day!

*I plan to post pictures on this here blog of the new puppy as well as of Thing 1 and Thing 2 as soon as I get a little more familiar with my new camera.

Weekend In Review

To continue with my weekend in review tradition, here's how the weekend went in our household.

*Let's see...where to start? On Saturday, I gave The Mr. my new ATM card to activate by going to the ATM and making a withdrawal. I gave him what I thought was my password only to find that my card was retained! I then told him to try my old card and the ATM took that one as well! I contacted the bank whose ATM took my card but since it wasn't my bank they will not give me my card back. I contacted my bank who is sending me a new ATM card that I should receive within 7-10 days.

*I have received a few requests for the name of our puppy as well as pictures. Well, the puppy's name is MJ. Thing 1 wanted to name her Spiderman but since the puppy is female, we went with MJ - keeping with the Spiderman theme. Unfortunately, our camera is not functioning properly. Once we get a new camera, pictures will be posted.

*As I had said, we need a new camera. We did a little research this weekend and still can't decide what to get. I want something that isn't too expensive and works. I also want a camera that takes out the red eye but doesn't do that double flash thing. Anytime I have used a camera with that double flash thing, I always get pictures with Thing 2's eyes closed or he looks like he is drunk. If you have any suggestions, I will take them!

*I decided to take some time for myself this weekend. I have been told by many people that I need to do this so that I don't go crazy. I tried it and I am not sure I was very successful at it. I wandered around the mall by myself for about an hour and then I came back home. I'll try again next weekend. We shall see if I am more successful at it the second time or if I find myself bored again.

*This evening we will be preparing for the week (i.e. meals made, dishes complete). The Mr. is taking another trip for work and this time he will be gone all week. Wish me luck taking care of both boys, a puppy, and our cat by myself! I will need it!

I hope everyone has a great week!

Weekend In Review

I want start off by saying, I am still alive. I've just been extremely busy. I started my new job last week so I basically came home every night and passed out on the couch. I'm starting to get into a groove now so I think things will calm down and I can actually do some of the things that I enjoy while I'm at home instead of being a zombie.

So, I thought I would do a review of our weekend.

1. Friday we did our weekly Target trip and purchase Turbo Tax. I have co-workers who say it's really great so I thought we could try to do our own taxes for once.

2. On Saturday, Thing 1 finally did #2 on the potty after not going #2 for a week. Because of this, the toilet clogged. We plunged it and it seemed to be ok.

3. Saturday evening we put in the Turbo Tax CD and completed our taxes. Our Federal taxes were e-filed and have been accepted and we mailed our State tax return today. It was very easy to use. I'm pretty excited to say that I have my taxes done at the beginning of February!

4. On Sunday, we found that the toilet was actually not ok requiring us to have a professional come and use a power auger to get the clog out. We were also told that there is a crack in the pipe which caused the huge poop to clog the toilet. We were relieved that the crack in the pipe made it clog as that meant it was the landlady's responsibility to fix and not ours. I didn't have an extra couple hundred dollars lying around to pay Roto Rooter to use a power auger to unclog our toilet.

5. Because of the whole toilet issue, we didn't get anything accomplished on Sunday that we normally would. This caused Monday to be a Manic Monday. Grocery shopping needed to be done and much food needed to be prepared as The Mr. is going out of town beginning tomorrow and we all know that I have no idea how to cook.

Time Out

It may sound like I am going to write about time outs for my children, but I am not. I am actually going to write about spending time out with my husband. Alone.

A few weeks ago we received an invitation in the mail to a wedding for one of my co-workers. I was excited to receive the invitation as I never thought that I may actually be invited. I was also excited to find that The Mr. and I might actually get to spend an evening out together without children. I promptly (well, maybe not so promptly as it didn’t arrive on the designated return by date – it was a day late) returned the RSVP card stating that we would indeed be attending. I then began looking for a babysitter. Since we live many, many miles away from any family that would be willing to watch our children for free without a second thought, I began what ended up being a long journey of asking multiple people to watch my 2 children. I didn’t realize this would be such an ordeal. Thing 1 has had a babysitter twice in his life (and he will be 4 in April) and Thing 2 has never been with a babysitter.

Over the course of the past two weeks I have asked multiple people if they would be available or knew someone who would be available to watch my boys for approximately 8 hours on a Sunday as we are attempting to attend a wedding and reception. The first 2 people I asked had other plans (one had a family birthday and the other already had a babysitting job that day). The next group of 3 I had asked requested what I thought was way too much money. I didn’t realize that babysitters were requesting $15-$20 per hour to watch 2 children. I quickly and politely told them this was not in my budget and it wouldn’t be happening. I had to ask 8 people before I found someone who was available and would babysit for the amount I was willing to pay. I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to find a babysitter and how lucrative the business was. If I could consistently make $15-$20 per hour in cash for babysitting, I may have to think about quitting my current job.

Opportunity

So, there are some of you out there who read my blog that I actually know and who know that I have a job interview this week – tomorrow to be exact. People have asked me questions regarding the type of job, location, etc. I thought I would post a little about the job and the circumstances under which I am applying.

For those of you who do not know me, I have worked in the mental health field for 10 years now (Really? Can it be that long?). I have mostly done direct care work, case management, treatment planning, and assessments to determine if potential clients may be appropriate for whatever program I happen to be working for at the time. I haven’t really had any experience in managing a program or supervising others. With that being said, the position that I applied for is within the same agency I currently work for and is the manager for the day program. The woman who had the job put in her notice back in October. She was having some family issues that she needed to resolve, which required her to move to a different state. Upper management of the agency convinced her to take family medical leave instead of quitting; therefore, making the position no longer available. Throughout the 12 weeks of her leave, she wasn’t communicating with the agency, most importantly her supervisor, regarding her plans of returning to work.

So, for the past couple weeks, the supervisor, who knew I had applied for the job, kept telling me what was happening within the day program in regards to staffing as well as her plans to hire me for the position if the other woman did not return. I have been patiently waiting to find out if the woman was going to come back to her job. I didn’t want to get my hopes up for something that may not happen. I also like this particular woman and would be sad to see her leave.

On Monday, I was told that the woman officially e-mailed in her letter of resignation (her FMLA was up on 1/2/09) and that the position was now available. The person who is supervising the program manager position immediately contacted me to schedule an interview for this week. She then proceeded to tell me the other two people who applied and that one of them decided she was no longer interested. She informed me that the other person has not said anything to her regarding his continued interest in the position. She kept telling me her plans to hire me for the day program manager position.

Now with all that information (probably more than you really need), you are all probably thinking, “That’s great!” I am more of a skeptic, constantly thinking that I don’t know for sure what is going to happen until it actually happens. I am also afraid of failure. Or, as my husband would say, I am afraid of success. I am concerned, that since I haven’t managed a program before that I will do a horrible job and fall flat on my face. I have this vision of all these people that I am supposed to manage standing all around me, looking up at me, awaiting guidance and some profound statements to help them be better workers and better able to help our clients. I find that if I am actually in that, somewhat unrealistic, position that I will just stand there with a dumb look on my face, not knowing what to say. At which point, everyone will think I am horrible and fire me.

As you can see, I don’t have much faith in myself. I have had a lot of different job responsibilities within this field and have mastered most of them. This job is not one I have had. It is unfamiliar to me and therefore very scary. I do believe that I need to attempt this responsibility and I need to gain and master this skill. I keep taking jobs that I know I can do and that do not challenge me. This position will definitely challenge me. I know I need that. Please wish me luck, if it does indeed happen that I get this job.

It's Time To Go

I am having some issues over here. We are having some financial issues (as probably everyone is). We have added a new baby into the house within the past 6 1/2 months. Things that never bothered me before are starting to bother me. I am really stressed out. Stupid little things are annoying me. I am angry with myself for feeling like this. I am feeling abandoned and betrayed by The Mr. having to travel all the time for work - leaving me alone without any support as we are so far away from family and friends. I feel guilty for feeling this way as he cannot help his job and we knew it would be this way when he took the position. I have talked to him about my feelings a lot the past few days. At first I don't think I was coming across well. I don't think he understood where I was coming from and I don't think I was explaining myself well. I was too emotional. After talking to my best friend on the phone yesterday for an hour and a half about my issue and then sleeping on it, I found that I was better able to explain myself and that my husband was better able to understand me. Yesterday and this morning before we talked, I felt like a wall was up between us. I was scared. I didn't know what was going to happen and feared the worst. After talking today, I am doing much better. We have decided to seek counseling. I have gone to counseling myself in the past and I know that it is time for me to go again. I felt that it would be good for The Mr. to go with me this time. I think that it will help strengthen our relationship and help us to communicate better. When I was in counseling before I learned that I confuse being stressed with being depressed. Anytime I get really stressed out, I start to get depressed. I start not eating and I sleep a lot. I wander around like a zombie, only doing things because I have to and not doing anything that I enjoy. I am starting to get that way again. This time seems different as I am now getting bothered by things that my husband does that he has always done. It's not fair to him and that is making me angry and upset with myself. I hope that we find a good counselor to help us through this and to help me get out of my rut.

I Did It

I did it. I went out during my lunch to my polling place. I have put in my vote for president. I encourage everyone to do the same, no matter who you decide to vote for.

If you know someone who isn't voting, you can always go here to have their name put into the video and e-mailed to them.

Lesson Learned

I have learned my lesson. Please, can it now get back to normal around here? I would like everyone in my household, including myself, to be healthy and happy so we can get into our regular routine. Thank you.

To go back a few days...On Monday, I dropped the boys off at daycare and went to work as usual. The Mr. had to take another business trip so he left for Tennessee early that evening. Monday was pretty normal for us. However, Tuesday morning I woke up unable to function. I could barely walk around without feeling like I was going to pass out. Once 7:30 that morning came, I tried calling a few of my co-workers, hoping that one of them would be in the office. Much to my dismay, no one was in yet. I was able to get the kids ready and myself looking halfway decent in order to leave the house. We arrived at daycare around 8:30 that morning. I took Thing 2 to his room first (which is unusual as we have to take our shoes off to enter the infant rooms and I don't like to have to help Thing 1 take his shoes off and then put them back on just so I can drop Thing 2 off first). Once we arrived in Thing 2's room, I started crying and asked if I could sit down. The staff in the room gave me a chair to sit in, some water and some crackers. They even took Thing 1 to his room so I wouldn't have to. I felt awful. I have never felt like this in my life. I sat in that chair for about 15-20 minutes eating crackers and drinking water until I felt I could leave. Once I got back out to my Jeep I called my co-worker. She told me not to drive home, only to drive to work so she could take me home (my office is a half a mile from my daycare). I sat in the parking lot at my office while my co-worker gave me water and watermelon. She drove me home in my jeep and had another co-worker pick her up at my home. While at my house, she did my dishes and set me up on the couch so I wouldn't have to move if I didn't want to. She then informed me that she would be back that afternoon to help me pick up the boys. I contacted the doctor and received an appointment for Wednesday afternoon.

Tuesday evening and Wednesday morning I felt a little better. Still not well enough to be at work and it took all of my energy to walk from the bedroom to the bathroom. I contacted The Mr. Wednesday morning and asked if he could try to get a flight back home that day as I didn't think I could take care of myself or the boys effectively in my current state. He was trying. However, since he was in Tennessee, a few towns over from where the debates were, he was unsure if he would get a flight out. By Wednesday afternoon, I felt like crap again. I drove to the doctor, although I probably shouldn't have. Once at the doctor's office I was found to have a fever of 103.8. While waiting for the doctor to come in to see me, I contacted my co-worker again to see if she could pick me up at the doctor's office and help me get my kids. She was on her way. After seeing the doctor, I was told that I have pneumonia. I was given a prescription and told to rest, drink fluids, and I am not allowed to go to work until at least Monday. I contacted The Mr. to let him know. He was able to get flight home and would be home in the middle of the night. I only had one more evening of taking care of two kids and myself. I was relieved.

I was basically told at the doctor's office, that the reason I ended up with pneumonia was because I didn't take care of myself when I had that awful cold (& that I wouldn't necessarily pass it on to my kids). I find I am spending too much time trying to take care of my kids, do my job at work, take of the house, and whatever else needs to be done that I put myself last - even when I am sick. My co-worker told me that I was putting too much pressure on myself and that I needed to not worry about anything and just get better. I felt awful that my husband had to cut his work trip short because I couldn't take care of things around here, that I couldn't take care of the boys or myself. I felt awful that I had to have my co-workers drive me around to get my kids, pick up medicine, and get me at the doctor. I felt like I was bothersome and that I should be able to do all of these things myself. I am so grateful that I have these wonderful people around me that are willing to drop what they are doing to help me. I don't know what I would do without them.

All I know is that I must slow down and decrease my high expectations, otherwise I won't be able to take care of my kids. Next time it could be much worse. I need to learn to take care of myself so I can be a good mother, wife, and co-worker. If I forget, I give all of you permission to remind me about this.

Sorry for the lack of posts. Once I feel better I will get back into my posting groove. I have things I want to write about but I don't have the energy to do so. I am also afraid that whatever I did write wouldn't make sense because of my high fever!

Is it my turn?

I am tired. The Mr. had been gone for two weeks (he was home for the weekend) for work. During the 1st week, the jeep wouldn’t start, requiring a tow. During the 2nd week, Thing 1 had diarrhea at daycare and needed to stay out for 24 hours so he came to work with me for a whole day. (He did great, by the way.) I need a break. I love my kids, but when The Mr. is gone only the necessities get done. I try to have everything done – dinner, baths, lunches for the next day, kids in bed – by 8pm so I can have an hour to myself before I then go to bed. Thing 2 cooperates pretty well by falling asleep between 7 and 7:30pm. Thing 1 goes to bed at 7:30pm but then gets up multiple times for whatever reason he can think of at the time until I go to bed.

I feel I don’t get a break or time for myself. From the time I get up until the time I go to bed, I am doing something for someone else. I am physically exhausted. I was looking forward to The Mr. coming home this past Friday as I knew he would do more than his fair share of helping around the house since he had been gone all week. He knows that I am tired and need some time away from the motherhood responsibilities after he gets back from a business trip. Unfortunately, this weekend was different than the normal “I’ll do that for you. You go relax.” This time, The Mr. came back from Florida sick. He had been vomiting and had diarrhea while in Florida and continued with that when he came home. He also is having difficulty sleeping as he has a cough and is wheezing. So, instead of have time for myself and getting a break from the kids, even if only for a little while, I helped take care of him as well as take care of the boys.

I know I shouldn’t be but I am angry and disappointed. I know I am being selfish. But damn it when is it going to be my turn to have a break? The Mr. was gone all week, able to sleep and not have to get two kids ready for the day every morning and then ready for bed every night. He wasn’t the one that some nights went to bed without dinner because he forgot to eat or was just too tired to make something for himself to eat. I spent my week taking care of my kids and didn’t do anything for myself. I pretty much went to bed at the same time the boys did because I was so tired. I just want a little time for myself, a little time to not worry or think about anything else but me. Is that so wrong? Am I a terrible mother, a terrible person for wanting this?

Sixteen (times 2) Candles

Today, I am 32. Over the weekend I was thinking about what to post on this day. I was feeling pretty down as The Mr. would be in California for work during my day. I was upset that I wouldn't get to see my husband on my birthday, that he would be on the complete opposite side of the U.S. than we live on, that there would be a 3 hour time difference and we may not even be able to talk to each other, and that I would be spending the day tending to the needs and wants of the boys instead of being pampered. I was nervous about being left alone this time as I was sure something would go wrong. If you read my last post you know what went wrong.

Instead of writing the original "poor me" post that I had thought about writing for today, I am going to reflect on my life and all the wonderful things that I have. I was privileged enough to get an education. Not only did I receive my Bachelor's Degree, but I later went back to school to receive my Master's Degree. I found the man of my dreams in a high school English class during our Junior year. We have been married for 9 years and together 14. I have 2 beautiful boys that mean the world to me. I have family and friends that love and care about me and we keep in contact despite the many miles that separate us. My father is doing well. The cancer that they found was caught early, removed, and doesn't require any chemo or radiation. I have had many ups and downs since my last birthday. I could choose to focus on the negatives, and some days I may, but today is not that day. It is a day to celebrate me and look at all the things/people in my life that have helped me to become who I am today. Yes, today I am 32.

Overwhelmed

I have been extremely busy and the slightest bit stressed this week. I am planning a 50th wedding anniversary open house that is to take place this weekend for my parents. We originally had a hall reserved and planned to have it catered, but with my Dad’s health issues and the surgery he had last month, we decided to tone it down – hence, the open house. Since I live halfway across the country from my family, I was only supposed to be in charge of the invitations; my brothers were going to do the rest (one lives in the same town as my parents and the other one is about a 3 hour drive from my hometown). Well, lets just say, brothers can be useless at times. Since they really didn’t plan anything, other than to reserve the hall then cancel the hall then tell my Mom about the surprise party we were having for her and my Dad but then cancelled, I took over the whole event. It is difficult and stressful to plan a party being so far away. I have been calling people to order food, cake, and gifts – hoping it all works out and people don’t just “forget” that I am in their books to pick stuff up. I have already spent tons out of my own pocket and I haven’t even paid for the food yet. My brothers are planning to pitch in a portion so we each pay a 1/3rd for the party and gifts. I am hoping they pay me before we fly back home on Tuesday as I don’t have much extra cash to pay for a party all by my onesies.

Luckily I have a great friend who is helping me out with the whole soiree. She recommended a place for me to get a cake for the party and even went to the bakery to take pictures of the cakes and e-mailed them to me. She plans to pick up the cake for me and drive it to my parents’ home. I also found out that my Dad’s side of the family is planning to use this party as their yearly reunion. It will be nice to see family that I haven’t seen in years although a bit overwhelming as I hope I will have enough food, seating, etc.

If the anniversary party wasn’t enough, Thing 2 will have his baptism this weekend. Yes, another party and family event. He will be baptized along with his cousin who is 2 months younger than him at their church. We are the godparents for our new nephew and The Mr.’s brother and his wife will be godparents to Thing 2. It is nice that we will be able to have both baptized at the same time and in the same church (we had to do some planning ahead of time and have our church write a letter stating that Thing 2 could be baptized in the other church – both Catholic, however). Also on the positive side, my sister-in-law is taking care of the lunch after the baptism at her home so I don’t have to do much for that except show up. I thank her tremendously for this as I don’t think I could plan two events for the same weekend without going crazy!

I will be sure to let you know how the parties go, unless I pass out from exhaustion beforehand!

It's That Season Again!!!

Well, I have to admit that I am a football fan. I really enjoy sitting in my living room on a Sunday or Monday night to watch football with my husband and my son (this year it will be with 2 sons, how exciting!). I am not a die hard fan of any particular team. If you asked me the team I root for, I would probably tell you either the Patriots or the Bears. Those are my teams. I also would tell you that as a person who grew up in the Midwest, namely Illinois, I am not a Packers fan. I loathe the Packers. It is just not a team someone from Illinois likes. Honestly, I think people from Illinois despise the Packers more than the Packers despise the Bears.

Anyway, I have been reading some of the coverage of Brett Favre and his retirement – or no retirement. I have to say, since I am not a Packers fan, I am also not a Brett Favre fan. My biggest pet peeve with the entire thing is he needs to make up his mind. If he plans to retire, then retire already and let someone else have a chance at the limelight. If you are not going to retire, then don’t make a big speech about retiring and cry in front of millions of people about leaving the game.

Despite this Packers/Brett Favre issue, I am looking forward to the regular season starting. If you wonder where I am on a Sunday or Monday night, you can find me on my couch with my family, eating food that is really bad for me but tastes oh so good, watching the best sport of all time.

30 is old?

I didn't realize that once I hit 30, I would be old. Not that anyone has ever said this to me, but my body has said so. Once I turned 30, I threw my back out. Never had I done this before the age of 30. I also find that I can't keep my eyes open past 10pm - although this may be because of motherhood more than age.

Not only have I now thrown my back out, but last night I pinched a nerve. I have never had a pinched nerve before and would prefer to never have it again. I spent the entire night trying to get comfortable enough to sleep with no avail. I tried sleeping on my right side, on my left side, and on my back. I, then, moved into the living room to try to sleep on the chaise sitting up. Nothing worked. The pain in my back was so bad that it turned my stomach. (For those of you who have weak stomachs do not read the next sentence.) I even spent part of the middle of the night in the bathroom throwing up. I remember thinking, "I have given birth, I should be able to handle this pain." I took pain meds and they didn't even help. I was finally able to fall asleep sometime after 3:30am but had to be up at 5:30am for work. Needless to say, I did not make it to work today. Instead I spent the day nursing a sore back and catching up on some much needed sleep.

All About Me

I am trying to learn how to do this whole blog thing without writing as if I am complaining. I have read many good blogs and find that those who write them have a way of pouring their hearts into it. They don’t sound like they are neither complaining nor do they only write about a few subjects. They own what they write and when you read them, you can actually step into their shoes for the moments that they allow you to, to see a part of them. I have to say that I find this so interesting and I commend them for allowing strangers as well as people they know to get a bit of their story and into their true selves.

I actually have a lot of difficulty doing this. I only have a few people that get to know the “real” me. And when I say a few, I mean a few. I spend my days learning about other people, getting to know them, and have much training in doing so as well as the skill to go along with it (that happens when you get a Master’s Degree in psychology). But, I have difficulty letting others see the “real” me. Here is my attempt at doing so. I promise I will get better at this and try not to sound as if I am complaining.

*I do not like thunderstorms, particularly at night. The only time that they are the least bit enjoyable is during the day, while at work and the power goes out not allowing me to do any work. (This was also really exciting when it happened while I was in school)

*I have a bit of an obsessive-compulsive personality. I must have everything neat and orderly. All of my DVDs are in alphabetical order. I am always prepared and organized for meetings or appointments that I attend.

*One of my biggest pet peeves is when I order a drink that doesn’t come with free refills and others want to have a drink of my drink. (Mostly happens with soda.) Please, if you drink your entire beverage and do not want to pay for another, do not ask for a drink of mine just because you couldn’t make your drink last your entire meal. Often this comes up when I go through a drive-thru and order a soda, therefore being unable to receive the free refill I could have obtained had I dined-in.

*I am a bit of a nag. I don’t know if The Mr. would admit it to others but I am sure he has thought it a time or two. I have a certain way I like to do things and how quickly I like things to be accomplished. If I delegate a task and it is not done when I expect it should be I will constantly hound you until it is done. I also have had a tendency to follow people around if I have something that needs to be signed by them (usually a work thing). This would probably also fall under my obsessive-compulsive nature and tendency to be completely organized.

I hope this allows you, those I know and those I don’t know, to see the “real” me a bit. As I said earlier, I promise to try to get better at this.