Is it my turn?

I am tired. The Mr. had been gone for two weeks (he was home for the weekend) for work. During the 1st week, the jeep wouldn’t start, requiring a tow. During the 2nd week, Thing 1 had diarrhea at daycare and needed to stay out for 24 hours so he came to work with me for a whole day. (He did great, by the way.) I need a break. I love my kids, but when The Mr. is gone only the necessities get done. I try to have everything done – dinner, baths, lunches for the next day, kids in bed – by 8pm so I can have an hour to myself before I then go to bed. Thing 2 cooperates pretty well by falling asleep between 7 and 7:30pm. Thing 1 goes to bed at 7:30pm but then gets up multiple times for whatever reason he can think of at the time until I go to bed.

I feel I don’t get a break or time for myself. From the time I get up until the time I go to bed, I am doing something for someone else. I am physically exhausted. I was looking forward to The Mr. coming home this past Friday as I knew he would do more than his fair share of helping around the house since he had been gone all week. He knows that I am tired and need some time away from the motherhood responsibilities after he gets back from a business trip. Unfortunately, this weekend was different than the normal “I’ll do that for you. You go relax.” This time, The Mr. came back from Florida sick. He had been vomiting and had diarrhea while in Florida and continued with that when he came home. He also is having difficulty sleeping as he has a cough and is wheezing. So, instead of have time for myself and getting a break from the kids, even if only for a little while, I helped take care of him as well as take care of the boys.

I know I shouldn’t be but I am angry and disappointed. I know I am being selfish. But damn it when is it going to be my turn to have a break? The Mr. was gone all week, able to sleep and not have to get two kids ready for the day every morning and then ready for bed every night. He wasn’t the one that some nights went to bed without dinner because he forgot to eat or was just too tired to make something for himself to eat. I spent my week taking care of my kids and didn’t do anything for myself. I pretty much went to bed at the same time the boys did because I was so tired. I just want a little time for myself, a little time to not worry or think about anything else but me. Is that so wrong? Am I a terrible mother, a terrible person for wanting this?