32 and 10

To The Mr.,

  Here I sit thinking of you as today is your 32nd birthday and our 10 year anniversary.  It's hard to believe that we have been married for 10 years and together for 15!  I love you very much and thank you for all that you do.  If it weren't for you, I would probably starve and go crazy.  I recall you getting up at 6 one morning to grill pork chops so the boys and I would have food to eat while you were away!  You are a wonderful husband and father.  We have had many ups and downs these past 15 years but have gotten through everything together.  I hope you enjoy your day.  Happy birthday and Happy anniversary. 

Love,

The Mrs.

It's Time To Go

I am having some issues over here. We are having some financial issues (as probably everyone is). We have added a new baby into the house within the past 6 1/2 months. Things that never bothered me before are starting to bother me. I am really stressed out. Stupid little things are annoying me. I am angry with myself for feeling like this. I am feeling abandoned and betrayed by The Mr. having to travel all the time for work - leaving me alone without any support as we are so far away from family and friends. I feel guilty for feeling this way as he cannot help his job and we knew it would be this way when he took the position. I have talked to him about my feelings a lot the past few days. At first I don't think I was coming across well. I don't think he understood where I was coming from and I don't think I was explaining myself well. I was too emotional. After talking to my best friend on the phone yesterday for an hour and a half about my issue and then sleeping on it, I found that I was better able to explain myself and that my husband was better able to understand me. Yesterday and this morning before we talked, I felt like a wall was up between us. I was scared. I didn't know what was going to happen and feared the worst. After talking today, I am doing much better. We have decided to seek counseling. I have gone to counseling myself in the past and I know that it is time for me to go again. I felt that it would be good for The Mr. to go with me this time. I think that it will help strengthen our relationship and help us to communicate better. When I was in counseling before I learned that I confuse being stressed with being depressed. Anytime I get really stressed out, I start to get depressed. I start not eating and I sleep a lot. I wander around like a zombie, only doing things because I have to and not doing anything that I enjoy. I am starting to get that way again. This time seems different as I am now getting bothered by things that my husband does that he has always done. It's not fair to him and that is making me angry and upset with myself. I hope that we find a good counselor to help us through this and to help me get out of my rut.

Who's Your Daddy?

As you may have read, I was doing the single mom thing last week as The Mr. was in Florida for work. When he is gone, we have a pretty structured schedule. Thing 1 has difficulty with change and is not at all flexible so the schedule thing works well for us.

On Friday evening, The Mr. came home from his trip, early enough to help out with dinner and help put the kids to bed. When he arrived home, Thing 1 was excited to see him and gave him hugs. Thing 2, on the other hand, just stared at him with a confused look on his face. He would look from me to him and back again. Then Thing 2 put his lower lip out and pouted and eventually started crying while looking at Daddy. The Mr. tried to hold him and comfort him, but Thing 2 wasn’t having any of that. He cried and pushed away from The Mr. I ended up having to take Thing 2 into his bedroom to rock him and get him to calm down. Once calm, The Mr. helped me make Thing 2’s dinner and talked to him. Thing 2 seemed to be ok so The Mr. held him for a little while and then fed him. It took probably a good half an hour before Thing 2 thought that The Mr. was indeed Daddy. The Mr. felt awful that his youngest son couldn’t remember who he was. It was quite sad!