Opportunity

So, there are some of you out there who read my blog that I actually know and who know that I have a job interview this week – tomorrow to be exact. People have asked me questions regarding the type of job, location, etc. I thought I would post a little about the job and the circumstances under which I am applying.

For those of you who do not know me, I have worked in the mental health field for 10 years now (Really? Can it be that long?). I have mostly done direct care work, case management, treatment planning, and assessments to determine if potential clients may be appropriate for whatever program I happen to be working for at the time. I haven’t really had any experience in managing a program or supervising others. With that being said, the position that I applied for is within the same agency I currently work for and is the manager for the day program. The woman who had the job put in her notice back in October. She was having some family issues that she needed to resolve, which required her to move to a different state. Upper management of the agency convinced her to take family medical leave instead of quitting; therefore, making the position no longer available. Throughout the 12 weeks of her leave, she wasn’t communicating with the agency, most importantly her supervisor, regarding her plans of returning to work.

So, for the past couple weeks, the supervisor, who knew I had applied for the job, kept telling me what was happening within the day program in regards to staffing as well as her plans to hire me for the position if the other woman did not return. I have been patiently waiting to find out if the woman was going to come back to her job. I didn’t want to get my hopes up for something that may not happen. I also like this particular woman and would be sad to see her leave.

On Monday, I was told that the woman officially e-mailed in her letter of resignation (her FMLA was up on 1/2/09) and that the position was now available. The person who is supervising the program manager position immediately contacted me to schedule an interview for this week. She then proceeded to tell me the other two people who applied and that one of them decided she was no longer interested. She informed me that the other person has not said anything to her regarding his continued interest in the position. She kept telling me her plans to hire me for the day program manager position.

Now with all that information (probably more than you really need), you are all probably thinking, “That’s great!” I am more of a skeptic, constantly thinking that I don’t know for sure what is going to happen until it actually happens. I am also afraid of failure. Or, as my husband would say, I am afraid of success. I am concerned, that since I haven’t managed a program before that I will do a horrible job and fall flat on my face. I have this vision of all these people that I am supposed to manage standing all around me, looking up at me, awaiting guidance and some profound statements to help them be better workers and better able to help our clients. I find that if I am actually in that, somewhat unrealistic, position that I will just stand there with a dumb look on my face, not knowing what to say. At which point, everyone will think I am horrible and fire me.

As you can see, I don’t have much faith in myself. I have had a lot of different job responsibilities within this field and have mastered most of them. This job is not one I have had. It is unfamiliar to me and therefore very scary. I do believe that I need to attempt this responsibility and I need to gain and master this skill. I keep taking jobs that I know I can do and that do not challenge me. This position will definitely challenge me. I know I need that. Please wish me luck, if it does indeed happen that I get this job.